My Postpartum Depression

When I had my second son Ryan, I was so full of joy! It was another amazing child birth experience with which the Lord blessed me. He was beautiful, healthy and he is a perfect fit to our family. Unfortunately, soon after I came home from the hospital I developed something more then just baby blues. It’s hard for me to say, but I had postpartum depression… it wasn’t too extreme…I know it could have been worse, but that doesn’t make my experience any less painful. I kept telling myself it was just baby blues and that it would soon fade, but time passed and I just felt worse. My poor husband witnessed many times me laughing hysterically at something, and it swiftly turning into sobs that I couldn’t control. He would come home from work, and find me sobbing gut wrenching sobs. I remember many times praying to God… just begging Him to take my feelings and pain away. My husband who is a wonderful man kept asking me what was wrong? What could he do? I really had no words to explain how horrible I felt and how extremely alone it seemed I was. Let alone tell him what he could do to help me…besides pray. Once, I finally realized that it was more then baby blues I reached out to a couple of friends. I was surprised with the different reactions I got. I expected total understanding, and support from one…only to find that my concerns were just brushed off with no real thought to my situation. I couldn’t help walking away from that experience feeling even more worthless. Weeks later, I confided in another friend, who made me feel so much better, like she understood what I was going through….FINALLY, I didn’t feel quite alone anymore. I knew that the road would still be long, but I took the encouraging words, and positive experience from her along with my husbands support, and started looking to the future. I could actually see a future that wasn’t filled with dark days and darker nights, but days full of joy!


Today, reflecting on my life, and the months that have passed since my beautiful son was born I feel like I’ve finally overcome my postpartum depression…like a cloud slowly lifted, and I could feel and see the Son. (yes I realized what I put…haha) That doesn’t mean I’m never overwhelmed, and that I don’t have down days…it just means things are clearer, I have less anxiety, feeling of worthlessness is gone, and I feel hopeful for tomorrow and thankful for God’s blessings. Remembering that dark time, I’m so thankful that I had the love and support of my husband, family members, and my friend. I thought many times that it wouldn’t go away unless I took medication….that was the last thing I wanted to do. I realize that many women have severe post partum depression, and NEED medication to help them…I totally support that. I did load up on vitamin B(s) and still do! Even though I felt so alone, I know my Heavenly Father never left my side, and he gave me strength to get through the days I felt weak. He loved me when I felt unlovable.


You’re Always There for Me

When the world comes crashing in
And chaos rules my mind,
I turn my heart to you, Lord,
And pure, sweet peace I find.
You lift me out of trouble
You comfort me in pain;
You nourish, heal and cleanse me,
Like cool, refreshing rain.
In times of joy and bliss,
When things are going right,
You lift me even higher,
And fill me with delight.
You listen to my prayers;
You hear my every plea;
I’m safe because I know
You’re always there for me.
By Joanna Fuchs

Just wanted to share a few Bible verses that I read when I need encouragement. Thank you Lord for your grace!


Romans 8: 31-39

31. What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

32. He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?

33. Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.

34. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.

35. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

36. As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

37. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

38. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39. Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I'm still Amazed!

Today, Jacob and I were heading into town, and I started thinking about what Mrs. Hughes said in our devotion on Monday night. She asked us to consider Mary, and what it was like that first Christmas night when Jesus was born. I started thinking how Mary must have loved holding the Son of God in here arms. Then, I thought about Jesus as a baby, and how his little hands that Mary probably held grew into the hands that were nailed to a cross, and how is little head that Mary probably kissed was crowned with thorns, and that perfect little boy that Mary watched grow was crucified for my sins. I'm still amazed how much God loves us all, and so thankful for the gift of Salvation. I'm so happy that my family knows the true meaning of Christmas, and I look forward to sharing that with Jacob as he gets older.

The LEGEND of the Candy Cane

A Candymaker in Indiana wanted to make a candy that would help us remember who Christmas is really about. So he made a Christmas Candy Cane. He incorporated several symbols for the birth, ministry, and death of Jesus Christ.

He began with a stick of pure white, hard candy. White to symbolize the virgin birth and sinless nature of Jesus. Hard candy to symbolize the solid rock, the foundation of the Church, and firmness of the promises of God.

The candymaker made the candy in the form of a "J" to represent the name of Jesus. It also represented the staff of the "Good Shepherd".

The candymaker then included red stripes. He used three small stripes and a large red stripe to represent the suffering Christ endured at the end of his life.

The candy became known as a Candy Cane - a decoration seen at Christmas time. The meaning has faded, but still gives joy to children young and old, whom Jesus loves and treasures.

Look at the Candy Cane
What do you see?
Stripes that are red
Like the blood shed for me

White is for my Savior
Who's sinless and pure!
"J" is for Jesus My Lord, that's for sure!

Turn it around
And a staff you will see
Jesus my shepherd
Was born for Me!